Genre: YA Verse
Pitch: Overwhelmed by grief and guilt after his brother Jason's death, 17 year-old Ric crashes his dead brother's car, injures gifted athlete Kate, and ends up in a juvenile justice centre where his music and Kate, the person who hates him most, are the only things that might save him from self destruction. But first, he must come to terms with the past and find a way to face the future.
I like the sound of this, though I am a bit concerned about the word count. 35,000 sounds short for YA. Maybe it can be shorter if it's a novel in verse? Not sure.
The pitch's first sentence runs long, so if there were a way to split it up, that would be nice. I wonder if you could also tighten the pitch by combining the last sentence with the part about how Kate and Ric's music might help save him, as those parts feel redundant. Maybe something like:
Overwhelmed by grief and guilt after his brother's death, 17-year-old Ric crashes his dead brother's car, injures gifted athlete Kate, and ends up in a juvenile justice centre. Now, music and Kate, the person who hates him the most, might be the only things that can help him come to terms with the past before he destroys himself.
Readers, feel free to pipe in below!
***Don't forget...make sure to check out all of the workshop host blogs to critique more pitches. For each critique you leave in the comments, you get an entry into the drawing to win one of eight 10-page critiques from our contest host Sharon Johnston and workshop hosts Larissa Hardesty, Stephanie Diaz (that's me!), Catherine Scully, Jodie Andrefski, Paula Sangare, Talynn Lynn and Kaitlin Adams. Also, Sarah Nicolas will be giving away three query critiques! Please use the exact same name for all of your critiques. The opportunity ends 10/14/2012.***
Follow along on Twitter using the hashtag #PitchOn